The AB/DL Identity, Permission to "vary"

Take a moment to interview a few people from the AB/DL community and you'll find a variety of "identities." The easiest distinction to identify is the AB vs. DL spectrum. This is defined as  whether someone considers their AB/DL participation as a fetish (generally) versus an outward portrayal of their inner child/baby (generally). But DON'T get bristly with my generalization, for that's the point of the point. Quite honestly, AB/DLs often live somewhere along the spectrum rather than strongly adhering to one side or the other. The spectrum paradigm was popularized by B. Terrence Gray - https://understanding.infantilism.org/what_is_infantilism.php) and I suggest you visit his page to learn more about the AB/DL spectrum.

​One layer deeper is understanding that an identity as AB or DL is barely enough to understand the variety of expressions folks in the community portray. We have seen this bipolar/bimodal paradigm play out in other topics in sexuality including sexual orientation. Traditionally, we have viewed orientation as an "either/or" discussion (e.g., gay or straight) when in reality we lean more often than not in one direction or another encapsulating attraction, appreciation, and enjoyment of all people in one way or another. Of course, this is not to exclude folks who do sit firmly on one side of the fence, but to offer the chance of freedom for those (including myself) that find enjoyment on BOTH sides.

In terms of AB/DL, let's take this one step deeper. ABs, you probably can imagine individuals in the community who live a "fantasy life" (e.g. AB/DL partner, sleeps in a crib, eats from a highchair, full-time caregiver) versus those who occasionally, and discretely enjoy something as innocent as coloring to engage their little-space. Hear this firmly, you have permission to VARY! You have permission to enjoy what you need to engage in little-space and whether that be a lifestyle or "activities," you're not broken either way.  You are loved regardless of how you (in a healthy way) express yourself as an ABDL.

My point is once again to offer freedom to those AB/DLs out there who feel confined to one identity and have been told they are somehow broken because they don't "engage" as deeply as others, or even those who aren't satisfied with the basics and need more of a lifestyle engagement. Hear me out, you are not alone. You be you...the closer you get to understanding who YOU are in this world, the closer you can get to satisfying some of the deepest needs of your heart.