I'll be completely honest, I'm not sure why it took me so long to realize that the AB/DL side of us (especially for those of us who identify with the AB aspect at least some of the time) is an inner-identity that for whatever reason is squelched. When I reflect on the "little boy" inside me, I don't even recognize him. It's almost the opposite of what my actual personality in the "big world." Strangely enough, the personality aspects of that little boy are the very aspects my wife talks about me lacking in my day-to-day life. As a means of contrast I'll contrast the two identities here.
Big Side: Stoic, hates both platonic and intimate touch, clean, calm, wise, anxious and fearful about the future, fearful about being wrong, fearful about being unliked, have a difficult time playing, not much laughter, takes things very seriously.
Little Side: Fun, loves to cuddle, playful, adventurous, goes with the flow, loves to build and create, gets dirty, little fear for making mistakes and having a good time, games, experiences the wonder of the world, building Lego/KNEX/large structures from bricks.
How have I lost the little side somewhere along the way? That side of my identity was suppressed as a child, I understand that, but I never went back to enjoy that. I hated sports as a child because it wasn't fun, but few were the opportunities to actually have fun.
What does it take to go back and engage that AB/DL side? That fun social side of your personality? How do you start that from scratch again? For me, it has to involve identifying with the infant identity and working up to the other little personality. For whatever reason (which I'm not so sure it really matters), engaging with infant headspace is the mechanism I use. When my little side is suppressed for so long, I find myself depressed and unhappy, always seeing the negative in everything and never thinking positively. I swirl into a pit of despair.
Perhaps it's time to welcome the little side back into my life and spark a little joy once in a while? Perhaps it's harder than it sounds... oh wait, that's the big side talking... long road ahead.